I can no longer stand this unhappiness
i must fight my way thru this despair jungle
u no longer make me happy
and i must face it that all is lost
u dont love me like u used to
if u did things would have changed
all u see is yourself and your life
and i am no longer apart of that world
it breaks my heart that i must leave
but i have to do what willl make me happy
and if that means bein alone and away from you so be it
i know my friends and family will understand
its been a long time coming
but i guess i try to stay it away for as long as i could
but i must have a life too
i cant wait for you forever
so u see it must happen this way
in order to reach the highest of the most high
in order to have a life, a good life
with the love and happiness i truly deserve
it is sad it may have to be with someone else
but i can no longer hold back at what is destined to be for me.

How do u want it

do u want it fast or slow

u gotta keep up with me

its the only way to go

i got stamina for days

i li ke it rough but slow so i can feel you

bite me gently

take me in y our arms while u are feeling me

keep kissin on me dont stop

kiss me down to my stomach

caress my body with your strong hands

go deep until you touch my spot

make me scream in exctasy

i put my arms around your back diggin my nails into your skin

i feel you movin in me

i move with y ou as sweat trickles down our bodies

we cling together

sexin each other

through teh nite.

every day is a struggle to survive life

sometimes i feel like givin up

and other times i want to fight hard to be in reality

there are so many obstacles in my way

it just seems hard to keep sane

i feel like i wish i was someone else living the high life

never having to live so hard ever again

but in order to complete this dream

i must keep striving to meet my goals

keep living the relaity that is my life to the fullest

life is short

sometimes u get sideswiped by people or things that wanna bring u down

but really what u want to do is keep the dream alive

and it will never sway you from anything.

You are a mystery

yet so far away

u continue to keep me interested in everything that u do

i see you in my dreams but yet they havent materialized in reality

ven though miles keep us apart

i see more in you than other guys

you are different than most

and for that youve caught my interest

i have yet to figure out

how u are  beacon in the dark

lighting up the plac with your personality

sometimes people come in your life for a reason

and there is a reason that u came into mine

i just hope its for a good reason and not just temporary.

When im with you i feel i am loved

but without u i feel there is a part of me missing

yet your ways make me question your love for me

are we meant to be?

im confused on whether we should hold on to each other

i never get to see u when i want to

it seems to me like u are ignoring me

but the only time i see you around is when u want something from me

i wish i could believe that u changed

wish i could believe that itll always be me and you

but times are changing

life is changing

and im realizing maybe this isnt for me

because i dont know whats the truth

you tell me you love me but u show me otherwise

i wish u would show me in your ways \

make things better for us

in order for us to have a future

cuz right now im not seein a future

im seein the end of our love

and its sad to see

after so many years together

that our love is fallign apart.

I dont know if i can stay friends with you

becuz i feel one way and u feel another

i feel like ur playing with my heart even though i know u dont mean to

but im tired of these games

i cant deal with your sporadic appearances

when i feel this way

my love for you has never wavered

even though i am with another man

maybe thats my problem

i love one yet feel for another

for the old days

i know i can never get them back

and maybe thats why it hurts me so much not to be with you

i cant quell this feeling

i cant hide it

so i think its best if we keep our distance

i hope i dont hurt you

but i know it has to be this way.

I feel our love is changing

The older we get the more apart we become

I feel im growin away from you in so many ways

We aren't those innocent simple kids we were years ago

I see that your anger is quick to come when I aks you things

How u don't listen to what I have to say all the time

Or you don't remember what I tell you

I feel ignored by you

I guess I shouldn't feel so hurt by you but I am

And the more it gets harder to be with you

The more I think to leave

And find someone that'll accept the  new way

Maybe its meant for me to do that

But still part of me wishes it wasn't so.

 

When i am free

u wont know what to do or how to act

shoudl i jump for joy

or stay in my sadness

i will have hope to look forward to

i will spread my wings and fly like a bird

im out of my caged prison

no need to cry anymore

my blue days are over

when i am free

i will learn to love the solitude of aloneness

be on my own finally

take chances

no more storms come my way

i will relish the days to lounge

enjoy the warm sun on my skin

breathe a sigh of reliefe

no more will i suffer under this hold of fear

no longer will i be scared to take chances

i will be alive

and willing to find new companionship

and not settle for less ever again

never no more.

What is my destiny

Is it to live my life as a mystery

what does the future hold for me

i dont know

wish i coudl tell what my fate will be

i s it forever to live in melancholy

or to finally have peacea and happiness

i hope one day to be at peace about alot of things in my life

cuz right now its turmoil

i struggle everday to decide whether this person or that person is really someone i can trust

esp when it comes to matters of the heart

people like to run over you when your nice

so i try to stay away from people like that

but always end up attractin them anyways

ive become stronger over the years

Not so naive as i once was

and it comes from experience

you learn the hard way that people have their own agendas

and regardless of how nice you are they will do what they want

in order for my life to perservere

i must be cautious

and keep a strong mind about me

to weather the storm

and come out witi no chips on my shoulders

i must believe taht good things happen if you have God in your life

and you continue to put your faith first

and you believe that with patience all things come to light in due time

so thats what im doing

even though it will take time

i still have a small glimmer of hope left in me

and i go on and breathe life thru these tired bones

and pray everything will be alright.

Life is fading away

i see it thru the haze

its gettign harder and harder to fo cus

time is spreading fast

but my life is at standstill

moving nowhere

ever frozen in the murkiness of melancholy

the water is filling over my head

i can barely keep my head above the waters

i dont see the safeness of land

the waves are getting higher and higher

i try and gasp for air

for someone to help me

but i dotn see anyone

its just m e,myself, and i

thru this life

all i got is me

how will i live to see another day

when i struggle thru even one day

time is catching up to me

not much of it left

before my destiny is met.