Everyday seems a struggle to me

its liek i cant get ahead

i try adn try and nothign seems to work

i see my peers doing well and gettin ahead

and i wish it was me

bills drag me down

money always a problem

when will the struggle stop

i feel the pressure of it all on my shoulders

i feel life has dealt me a hard hand and i dont know how to get out of it

i pray and hope that things get better for me

i want to be something in life

yet things bog me down

its so hard to climb out of the sand trap

its like everything is built on sand and im slowly sinking in

what can i do to stay afloat?

i just gotta have faith

i have to believe things will get better

i hope.

my dream is be with you forever and a time
and see our dreams come tru
you to be this successful businessman
with the world in the palm of your hands
never worrying about money ever again
and having limitless time for your many journeys in life
me
marrying the man of my dreams which is you
to be with him forever sharing our dreams together
not having a care in the world
our love boundless
our bond unbreakable
who can break what is untangible?
only we see how far this love has come
i see our children living the dream we always wanted them to
having no fear because our love protects them from harms way
dreaming and becoming whatever their hearts desire
having it all in a house with a pickett fence
who can not want that
we have come so far from how things used to be
been thru so much in only four years
some people wouldnt have survived
would have broken up and gone separate ways
but not us
i guess it is god's will that we stay together
maybe we were meant to find each other all those years ago
because it was destiny that brought us together and kept us together
although we have our difficult times it still doesnt make me forget your love
i know u would do anything for me
as i woudl do for you
and i hope that our future is bright together
and that we walk down that aisle with the angels by our side and god watching us
being happy that we finally got together and that we crossed paths the way he wanted us to.

Why do i feel torn in two ways

for the love i feel for one but feel another thing for another

its confusing and frustrating

i just want it to be liek it was before

i feel like ive made a mistake

i thought i shoudl be with the other but i realize that the one i have now is who im meant to be with

but what do i do

i can only be friends with the other

i need to forget these feelings i feel

and move on

i cant think of the past

the past is gone

i can never get it back

it was a good time when we were together

short as it was

but its not as strong as the love i feel for the one i have now

our love is transcending time

its like a nice warm blanket u want to wrap around u on a cold night

its like taking a dip in the coolest water after  a hot day

it fills me now

i guess i wasnt appreciative of it b efore

but now that ive had some time i think twice

and i realize that i cant rely on the past

i need to look to the future for me

and waht i need

i need love that can be counted on

someone thats gonna be there for me and not just every once in awhile when they feel like it

but all the time

so i can feel safe and secure

and loved

like im the only person that matters in their lives right now

like they cant live without me

they cant breathe without me

thats the type of love i want

and thats what my love has for me now.

If i coudl turn back the hands of time

I would have u in my life

in my arms forever

and cherish the lil moments that matter the most

i woudl rock you to sleep with my hands

and sing sweet lullabys for u to sleep

i would watch over you like the protective mother over her cub

and see to it that u sleep peacefully with sweet dreams

if only i could turn back the hands of time

if only for you

to have one last moment with you

before you go into slumber for eternity

if only i could turn back the hands of time.

The sight of you quickens my heart

and burns in my soul

 I yearn to be near you

when i look into your eyes

i see fire in them

it excites me

and makes me want to know more about you

what makes you tick

what makes you so confident

and so knowing of life

is it your experiences

is it that you are naturally bound to know your way around

i wish u coudl see what i see

but u may be blinded by other things

you see me as this innocent woman

this good girl

but i have bad tendencies;)

only u would like to know

but u cant

that is only to discover in some time

leaving everything to the imagination is what i like

i like to be seductive

and i like you to enjoy it

i dont have to touch it

its just the sight of my body and my presence

that makes you wonder whats behind it all

whats beneath those linens that i wear

but im a mysterious woman

and i like to keep it to myself

i like for a guy to guess

giving too much takes teh surprise out of it

but i'll leave you with an image you wont soon forget.

im a strong woman

a strong woman can deal with obstacles and hurdles

a strong woman can be strong willed

overcoming tragedy adn still movin forward

are u a strong woman?

can u be the person that holds everything together

the person people go to when times are hard and u are their rock

can u deal with so many defeats yet still believe in yourself

no matter what u go thru u must stay strong and dont let haters bring u down

u have to show them that u are better than them

that u have your own style your own mind and style

nobody can take that away from you

im like that

that strong woman

that courageous woman

that speaks her mind when need be

and doesnt let people tell her what to do and does waht she wants

can u be that strong woman

without following the trend

and be yourself

cuz what it takes to be a strong woman is not much

just be yourself and learn from your mistakes and move on

dont let life stress ya and u will make it.

why am i still sad

over the tragedy that befell me

it is because it was too soon to be taken away from me

how do i deal wiht this loss?

do i throw myself into school

or do i try and live and go on

it is so hard to do

i dont know why it had to happen to me

what did i do to deserve this?

is it something in my life that im doing wrong

ive made mistakes sure but nothing that should make me suffer

i can only pray that i can get past this hurdle in my life

i pray everyday to take away the pain

because it hurts me so much each time i think about it

to see other people happy with their child

and me childless

it hurts me so deep

like maybe i made too many mistakes to be forgiven

i can only make things right for the future

thats all i can do

and pray that one day i will be given the blessing of having another child

but ill never forget her though

her memory will always live on in my heart and in my  mind.

why do u continue to hurt me

after all ive done for you

how can u dismiss the love we have

and care only about yourself

i thought it wa smore than that

but i see that you havent changed

u still put yourself and your interests before mine

i dont know if we can be together if u continue to do this

if u cant even see your child that u tell me u love

see her rest in peace

how can we be together

i can never forgive you if u dont come and see her

it will be the end of us

which i knew would come because its been a long time coming

i just thought things would have changed so that i wouldnt be put through so much turmoil as i have

but i know now that its not gonna happen

i have to move on with my life

without u

it will be hard at first

because im so used to being there

and seeing you

and talking to you

but i can do it

its better this way

i have to do this in order ot be truly happy.

Song inspired by poem 'breakthru'. one of my favorites on her album.

"Good Woman Down"

[Intro:]
In my life
I've seen
It all
Now it's time
For me
To pass
On this
Knowledge to you
All my sisters
My troubled sisters
This is my
Gift to you

[1st Verse:]
Been many days
Couldn't take
The pain
Felt like
I should take
My life away
See it everyday
In every other
Young sister's face
(Young sister's face)
See'em cryin' out
Life full of doubt
Runnin' in the streets
No self esteem
Thinkin' that
Used to be me
What a shame

[B-Sect:]
And life
Is a mutha
It's hard
To sit back
And see
The same thing
That happened to me
Happen to you
This ain't love
But here's
The love
I wanna give to you

[Chorus:]
It dosen't
Matter what
They say or do
Don't let'em
Get to you
Don't be afraid
You can, you can
You can breakthrough
Take what
I've been through
To see that
You can't
Hold a good
Woman down

Went through
The same point
Of givin' up
I-I felt
Like I had enough
Went to the edge
Of the ledge
But I didn't jump
"My Life"
Will sum it up
You can't
Hold a good
Woman down

[2nd Verse:]
When I used to see
My daddy beat
My mother down
Down to her feet
I used to say
That ain't gon'
Never be me
(Never be me)
Now look at you
Bruised up
From him
Girl recognize
You're better then
Him tellin' you
That he'll never hit
You again
Girl don't cry

[Repeat B-Sect 1x]

[Repeat Chorus 1x]

[Bridge:]
Through your changes
I will hold your hand
Use my songs
As remedies
Whenever you're feelin'
Down or blue
I'll be there for you
Trust
And know
That I've been
Where you're at
Seen the things
That you can see
Lookin' at you
Resembles me
But you gotta
Hold your own

[Repeat Chorus 1x]

[Vamp:]
Can't hold me
Down
Can't hold me
Down
Can't hold me
Down
Can't hold me
Down
Can't hold me
Down
Can't hold me
Down
You can't hold me

Can't hold me
Down
Can't hold me
Down
Can't hold me
Down
Can't hold me
Down
Can't hold me
Down
Can't hold me
Down
You can't hold me

[Outro:]
There you have it
I'm still with you
My sisters
My troubled sisters
I still have troubles, too
You're not alone
I'll always be there
For you
Rock on

You can't hold
A good woman down

i miss you

the way you used to kick me when i carried you

the way u were fiesty even in the belly

your tiny hands

your lil body

your beautiful hair

you look just like your daddy:)

but u were born from me

i miss that i couldnt hear your lil voice

i miss holding you in my arms

i will miss you for all eternity

till i can see you in heaven

we all miss you

the grandparents that never got to see their grandchild

the way you left

teh circumstances were sad and unbearable to me

im trying to go on for you

but i feel this deep sorrow in me

that doesnt seem to go away

there is a place in my heart that yearns for you

and i know i cant have you

your life was stilled

at a time when it wasnt supposed to be

and im mad that it happened

mad that u were taken away and they did not help you

but i understand that it is god's way

that maybe he thought if i had you that things would be bad for us

but i say at least let me experience it let me see for myself and determine that

he took the decision away from me

maybe he thought i coudlnt handle it

im trying ot come to grips with this

its the only comfort i have

since u are gone

i miss you

my darling

n'siyah joi.

one day i will see you again.