When i am free

u wont know what to do or how to act

shoudl i jump for joy

or stay in my sadness

i will have hope to look forward to

i will spread my wings and fly like a bird

im out of my caged prison

no need to cry anymore

my blue days are over

when i am free

i will learn to love the solitude of aloneness

be on my own finally

take chances

no more storms come my way

i will relish the days to lounge

enjoy the warm sun on my skin

breathe a sigh of reliefe

no more will i suffer under this hold of fear

no longer will i be scared to take chances

i will be alive

and willing to find new companionship

and not settle for less ever again

never no more.

What is my destiny

Is it to live my life as a mystery

what does the future hold for me

i dont know

wish i coudl tell what my fate will be

i s it forever to live in melancholy

or to finally have peacea and happiness

i hope one day to be at peace about alot of things in my life

cuz right now its turmoil

i struggle everday to decide whether this person or that person is really someone i can trust

esp when it comes to matters of the heart

people like to run over you when your nice

so i try to stay away from people like that

but always end up attractin them anyways

ive become stronger over the years

Not so naive as i once was

and it comes from experience

you learn the hard way that people have their own agendas

and regardless of how nice you are they will do what they want

in order for my life to perservere

i must be cautious

and keep a strong mind about me

to weather the storm

and come out witi no chips on my shoulders

i must believe taht good things happen if you have God in your life

and you continue to put your faith first

and you believe that with patience all things come to light in due time

so thats what im doing

even though it will take time

i still have a small glimmer of hope left in me

and i go on and breathe life thru these tired bones

and pray everything will be alright.

Life is fading away

i see it thru the haze

its gettign harder and harder to fo cus

time is spreading fast

but my life is at standstill

moving nowhere

ever frozen in the murkiness of melancholy

the water is filling over my head

i can barely keep my head above the waters

i dont see the safeness of land

the waves are getting higher and higher

i try and gasp for air

for someone to help me

but i dotn see anyone

its just m e,myself, and i

thru this life

all i got is me

how will i live to see another day

when i struggle thru even one day

time is catching up to me

not much of it left

before my destiny is met.

What lies in the physical

is a body worn from life in itself

eyes that have seen things unspeakable

things that have told of heartache and pain

arms to carrying the burdens of the world on her shoulders

and moving, swaying to stay afloat thru the murkiness of life

legs that woudl love to run away from everything and only stay still to teh beat of a happy tune of happiness

Ears that have heard of whispers of sweet nothings from lovers of the past and has been persuaded by empty words from people that wish to be in my life but cant

Many would see a happy go lucky person that seems to not have a care in the world

but underneath hides insecurities and sadness from what she has been dealt in life

The  body tells a story of hard times but would like to rest one day

and be at ease in itself with no worries

Only to listen to God's word, His promise of neverending happiness and love of ones self.

Its almost one year till you left me

And its hard to believe that u are gone

im tryin to be strong for you

my angel

ucz i know you'd want me to be

things are hard on earth

sometimes i wish i could be with you

where things arent so hard

and life is easier

But i know there are people here that need me

i love you with all my heart

and as long as i live i'll never forget you

you were special to me

you were everything to me

i dont know why life is cruel

to take you away from me

one day we will be together

and then i can be at peace

knowing you are in my arms forever

i love you forever and ever

dear angel.

There is a new me emerging from teh cocoon

she is growing and understanding teh things around her more

She is realizing that she is the only one to get things done for herself

she cant count on others

she is becoming more independent

and her own woman

she has been hurt but is surviving

real love is on the horizon

she has only to wait

and be patient that it will come her way

to love herself unconditionally is the way

to love oneself is to know oneself

each day is a struggle

but still she keeps her head to the sky and lives on

she knows of her past and how things were and doenst want to go back to that

sometimes the past haunts her

and she wants to run

but she needs to deal with teh past in order for her to move forward

she is not perfect and has made mistakes in the past

but she can go forward if she doesnt make them again and learns from them

the future holds much for her

all she has to do is keep trudging forward and not look back.

There is a change in me

this year

i sense it

I feel it in my bones

as i get older

i grow as a person

learning new things about myself

takin new lessons about life

i see those around me differently as well

Ive b een thru so much in four years

thigns that never should have happened

and im lucky to have been alive thru it all

i hope this year brings all new changes

i hope i get smarter about who will be in my close circle

who i allow in my life

time is short

and there is not time to stand by with negative people in your life

i wanna live life

do somethin crazy and memorable

somethin my kids can be told

i wanna love freely and strongly

i wanna give myself to someone that deserves me

but i wanna be cautious on who i give myself to

Love in my adult years has been hard on me

ive had alot of heartbreaks

but ive also learned from it

what i want and what i dont want

and that i deserve to be treated as a queen that i am

and nothing less

i wont settle for nothign below what i deserve

and still my heart is strong

because it believes someday i will have that

love will find me when i least expect it

so i open my arms and embrace it when it comes.

Time doesnt make the pain go away

time only stands still for that one memory

the day you left me

are you happy up in heaven

i hope that u are

i miss the touch of your skin

and the way you would surprise me with thelittlest things

i wish u ewre here with me

the pain is still fresh

adn the memories still stay with me forever

no passing of time could make me forget how it was

no time coudl make me forget how precious it was

except i never knew how short time was

i alwasy thought i had all the time in the world

if u were here i know i'd be much happier

because you were in my life

u made thigns better

and you gave me strength to want things better for you

as teh n ew year rings in

i'll think of you and all the times we shared

i loved you more than anything in the world

I was lucky to have you in my life

for the short time it was

i hope youll be smiling down on me

and i'll   tell your siblings about you

how special u were

how blessed i was

to have a wonderful child like you

my lil one

you will always be in my heart forever.

will our love stand the test of time

or will it sink under the pressure

i want to believe that it will stand the test of time

thta we'll always be together

but it all depends on the obstacles thrown our way

it all depends on how much your willinig to do for our love

are uwilling to go that extra mile

willing to do anything for me, for us

cuz it all depends on our future

the future is nothing without your guidance

without your love

it is the path to happiness and tru love

will u make it your obligation to gurantee that future

i know what u say

but actions speak louder than words

so showm e how  much you love me

dont just say

go forth

and conquer this world

and let us forever be the glue that holds teh future together.

There's a glimmer of hope

shining high above me

if only i coudl reach it

and not stray from teh spot

wish as i might it may come tru

this simple wish

its all my heart desires

to be happy and free

to take teh path that was meant for me

i must change in order to see the light

the way i see

for many years its been gloom and doom

and dreary

when i thought all hope was lost

but im trying to believe that things will get better

i have to

its all i hold on to

ist all i hold near and dear to me

i want a better life

not just for me

but for the child i may have in the future

i dont wanna struggle

or let them see me unhappy

i must do what i must

in order to keep teh dream alive

I must strive on

and complete the path that was heavenly sent to me.