When im with you i feel i am loved

but without u i feel there is a part of me missing

yet your ways make me question your love for me

are we meant to be?

im confused on whether we should hold on to each other

i never get to see u when i want to

it seems to me like u are ignoring me

but the only time i see you around is when u want something from me

i wish i could believe that u changed

wish i could believe that itll always be me and you

but times are changing

life is changing

and im realizing maybe this isnt for me

because i dont know whats the truth

you tell me you love me but u show me otherwise

i wish u would show me in your ways \

make things better for us

in order for us to have a future

cuz right now im not seein a future

im seein the end of our love

and its sad to see

after so many years together

that our love is fallign apart.

I dont know if i can stay friends with you

becuz i feel one way and u feel another

i feel like ur playing with my heart even though i know u dont mean to

but im tired of these games

i cant deal with your sporadic appearances

when i feel this way

my love for you has never wavered

even though i am with another man

maybe thats my problem

i love one yet feel for another

for the old days

i know i can never get them back

and maybe thats why it hurts me so much not to be with you

i cant quell this feeling

i cant hide it

so i think its best if we keep our distance

i hope i dont hurt you

but i know it has to be this way.

I feel our love is changing

The older we get the more apart we become

I feel im growin away from you in so many ways

We aren't those innocent simple kids we were years ago

I see that your anger is quick to come when I aks you things

How u don't listen to what I have to say all the time

Or you don't remember what I tell you

I feel ignored by you

I guess I shouldn't feel so hurt by you but I am

And the more it gets harder to be with you

The more I think to leave

And find someone that'll accept the  new way

Maybe its meant for me to do that

But still part of me wishes it wasn't so.

When i am free

u wont know what to do or how to act

shoudl i jump for joy

or stay in my sadness

i will have hope to look forward to

i will spread my wings and fly like a bird

im out of my caged prison

no need to cry anymore

my blue days are over

when i am free

i will learn to love the solitude of aloneness

be on my own finally

take chances

no more storms come my way

i will relish the days to lounge

enjoy the warm sun on my skin

breathe a sigh of reliefe

no more will i suffer under this hold of fear

no longer will i be scared to take chances

i will be alive

and willing to find new companionship

and not settle for less ever again

never no more.

What is my destiny

Is it to live my life as a mystery

what does the future hold for me

i dont know

wish i coudl tell what my fate will be

i s it forever to live in melancholy

or to finally have peacea and happiness

i hope one day to be at peace about alot of things in my life

cuz right now its turmoil

i struggle everday to decide whether this person or that person is really someone i can trust

esp when it comes to matters of the heart

people like to run over you when your nice

so i try to stay away from people like that

but always end up attractin them anyways

ive become stronger over the years

Not so naive as i once was

and it comes from experience

you learn the hard way that people have their own agendas

and regardless of how nice you are they will do what they want

in order for my life to perservere

i must be cautious

and keep a strong mind about me

to weather the storm

and come out witi no chips on my shoulders

i must believe taht good things happen if you have God in your life

and you continue to put your faith first

and you believe that with patience all things come to light in due time

so thats what im doing

even though it will take time

i still have a small glimmer of hope left in me

and i go on and breathe life thru these tired bones

and pray everything will be alright.

Life is fading away

i see it thru the haze

its gettign harder and harder to fo cus

time is spreading fast

but my life is at standstill

moving nowhere

ever frozen in the murkiness of melancholy

the water is filling over my head

i can barely keep my head above the waters

i dont see the safeness of land

the waves are getting higher and higher

i try and gasp for air

for someone to help me

but i dotn see anyone

its just m e,myself, and i

thru this life

all i got is me

how will i live to see another day

when i struggle thru even one day

time is catching up to me

not much of it left

before my destiny is met.

What lies in the physical

is a body worn from life in itself

eyes that have seen things unspeakable

things that have told of heartache and pain

arms to carrying the burdens of the world on her shoulders

and moving, swaying to stay afloat thru the murkiness of life

legs that woudl love to run away from everything and only stay still to teh beat of a happy tune of happiness

Ears that have heard of whispers of sweet nothings from lovers of the past and has been persuaded by empty words from people that wish to be in my life but cant

Many would see a happy go lucky person that seems to not have a care in the world

but underneath hides insecurities and sadness from what she has been dealt in life

The  body tells a story of hard times but would like to rest one day

and be at ease in itself with no worries

Only to listen to God's word, His promise of neverending happiness and love of ones self.

Its almost one year till you left me

And its hard to believe that u are gone

im tryin to be strong for you

my angel

ucz i know you'd want me to be

things are hard on earth

sometimes i wish i could be with you

where things arent so hard

and life is easier

But i know there are people here that need me

i love you with all my heart

and as long as i live i'll never forget you

you were special to me

you were everything to me

i dont know why life is cruel

to take you away from me

one day we will be together

and then i can be at peace

knowing you are in my arms forever

i love you forever and ever

dear angel.

There is a new me emerging from teh cocoon

she is growing and understanding teh things around her more

She is realizing that she is the only one to get things done for herself

she cant count on others

she is becoming more independent

and her own woman

she has been hurt but is surviving

real love is on the horizon

she has only to wait

and be patient that it will come her way

to love herself unconditionally is the way

to love oneself is to know oneself

each day is a struggle

but still she keeps her head to the sky and lives on

she knows of her past and how things were and doenst want to go back to that

sometimes the past haunts her

and she wants to run

but she needs to deal with teh past in order for her to move forward

she is not perfect and has made mistakes in the past

but she can go forward if she doesnt make them again and learns from them

the future holds much for her

all she has to do is keep trudging forward and not look back.

There is a change in me

this year

i sense it

I feel it in my bones

as i get older

i grow as a person

learning new things about myself

takin new lessons about life

i see those around me differently as well

Ive b een thru so much in four years

thigns that never should have happened

and im lucky to have been alive thru it all

i hope this year brings all new changes

i hope i get smarter about who will be in my close circle

who i allow in my life

time is short

and there is not time to stand by with negative people in your life

i wanna live life

do somethin crazy and memorable

somethin my kids can be told

i wanna love freely and strongly

i wanna give myself to someone that deserves me

but i wanna be cautious on who i give myself to

Love in my adult years has been hard on me

ive had alot of heartbreaks

but ive also learned from it

what i want and what i dont want

and that i deserve to be treated as a queen that i am

and nothing less

i wont settle for nothign below what i deserve

and still my heart is strong

because it believes someday i will have that

love will find me when i least expect it

so i open my arms and embrace it when it comes.